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It All Starts With You!

Every success, every problem... where do they really start?

by Donnalynn Riley

So what if everything really does start with you? What if it really starts with you? What if your experience in the world starts with you?
It doesn't feel like it starts with you, right? It feels like other people come up to you and say things and do things and outside influences have a huge impact on your life. And that's what it feels like all the time. But what if just for a few minutes, you said to yourself, “I believe that everything actually starts with me.”

The whole world would shift for you, wouldn't it? It may not feel good, but it would be really different than where you probably are right now.

So what happened for me to make that shift in my life is that I was overweight. I'm still overweight, a little. But I was overweight and I was really self-conscious about it, right? And there was where I worked -- there was a lunchroom. And I would go into the lunchroom every day and I would eat my lunch and other people would be there. And somehow the conversation would always come back to “What should you eat to lose weight?” or “How do you lose weight?” or “What I'm doing recently to lose weight.” By that I don't mean me -- I mean other people in the room. “What current diet we're on,” “Why, how it works.”

And everybody seemed to be lecturing me all the time and one day I was like, ‘I can't take it anymore. I don't know why they keep saying this to me. I don't know why. I don't know. I mean, really honestly, am I that fat that everybody has to talk to me about it all the freaking time?’ No, but that's what it felt like it did. It felt like my self-conception was so bad that I believed that all of that was happening because I was such a sort of blight on the world, right? That I couldn't be in the same room with somebody while they were eating without them thinking, “Gosh, I really should tell this girl how to eat because, clearly, she doesn't know how to do it.”

It was really, really uncomfortable and it was totally kind of normal. It's what society tells us how we think about that. But one day I decided -- no matter what anybody said to me ever in that situation -- I was just not going to respond. I was just going to shut my mouth because I was so tired of being frustrated. I was so tired of feeling judged, and so I just decided, No more. I'm just going to, not at all. I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut. And if I can't find something to talk about that has nothing to do with health or weight or exercise or diet or breathing or any of it, then I'm not talking. I'm just zero talking.

And it was such an interesting thing. I don't think it was three days before nobody talked to me about it again ever again. Nobody ever talked to me about it again. I had told them like a thousand times before that, “Stop talking to me about this. I really don't want to talk about my weight. I really don't want to talk about this and that. Not a thing.” I really did. I had told them I had tried to school them. I had tried to get them to fit into my conception of what I wanted my world to be and the more I told them to stop it, the more it came up. It was awful. Right?

But within three days, just shutting my mouth, just not responding -- I wasn't not thinking it yet -- I was still thinking all of the things that I had been thinking, but I just wasn't saying it. I just said nothing. And in three days, the whole topic dried up. Nobody ever talked to me about it again.
And after a little while I continued to work on myself. I continued to think, “Okay, then it is about me. So what am I going to do about me? What am I going to do about my self-conception? What am I going to do about the fact that I'm the one judging me? I'm the one bringing it on to me.” Right?
So you have to continue to work on yourself. That is the big lesson that I learned from that. It’s that I am the only one worth working on because when I work on me I get results. And when I work on everybody else, I get results that I hate. The thing is that society kind of sets it up, right? We tell kids from when you're really little that you don't have any control over anything. We tell them to “Listen to me and don't listen to yourself, and do the things that the teacher tells you to do and to do the things that the adults tell you to do.”

And so there's this thing that happens on the inside that sort of makes you feel like you have no control over anything. And it is a part of our culture. It's a part of our world, our outer world that it exists. And most people believe it. They believe they have to go to a job that they don't like in order to make money. And they believe that they have to put up with the screaming children in order to have children. And they believe that they have to put up with some of the things their spouse does in order to have a spouse. And those things really aren't true, but it sure doesn't feel like it because when you put yourself in the driver's seat, then you get a whole different result.

So it's really important that you understand that you can work on you and that you are the only one worth working on.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

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Donnalynn Riley |  Copyright ©2020  |  All Rights Reserved
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. 
This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.