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Get To The Root - The Core Question

What is the one place to start when trying to make a change?

by Donnalynn Riley

Making a change can be scary and difficult to navigate. It often starts with desire but that desire can come from inspiration, like, "I want to start a business that I love" or it can come from necessity, as in, "I have to figure out how to save my marriage right now or I can't stay". These are really different starting points so you would thing there would be a different process of change for each of them. In fact, the process, the starting point for making the change is identical, no matter why you are making the change.

You may have heard me say it before but, "it all starts with you and you are the one worth working on". So put on your "I'm in charge of me" goggles and come with me.
The starting point, the core question is always the same. "How can I participate in my path?"

Using my own early career as an example, I want to tell you a story.

The beginning of my career was really in the theater. I was 16 years old and I wanted to be a sound designer. I had met a sound designer and she was, I just thought she was the most spectacular person I'd ever met. And I'm pretty sure she was. She said, "you can do it". And I said, "this is cool". And I started out on the path. That path was, for me, the only path... the only ending for this path was to work on Broadway.

But, for the people around me to whom I said, "I'm gonna work on Broadway", they would say disbelievingly, "okay, whatever you say, kid. And yeah, maybe 10 years or something, you will." Three years later I was working on Broadway. In fact, six months later I was working on an off Broadway show, steps from my dream.

That's because the only question I asked is what can I do? How can I show up? Where do I go? How can I participate in the journey today?

I discovered that when you have a strong point of focus, some people say you're driven, I'm not big on the word driven. I think that the word driven, brings up imagery of force without regard for anything else, of doing it at all costs. The cost of success is something I talk about in another article so I won't go into too much detail here. I will just say the cost is up to you and quite often is not what you would expect.

I never felt like I was "driven". I felt like I had an idea of the funnest thing I could think of, working on Broadway, and each day I got to see how much fun I could have doing the work. Constantly watching the path unfold in front of me. Those small choices each day, who noticed me, who wanted to talk to me, and how I responded... Those were the stepping stones along the path.

That core question is not a question of "what am I going to do next". 

The doing seems like it's the most important thing in the moment, but, it really isn't. It all starts upstairs, in your mind. It starts with a much more open question, "how can I participate?" This really opens the door to know, am I participating on a mental level? Am I participating on a spiritual level? Am I participating on an emotional level? Am I participating on a physical level?

So those are all different levels of participation. So how can you participate?

That's really the core question: how are you going to participate in your life?

In other words, what environment will I create in my mind that determines in what way you are going to steer your life? 

As you do that, choose different thoughts, you start to realize that different things show up.

Here's another example, I have a client who I have been working with long-term. She knew she wanted to become more in her business. So she came to me and said "how do I get where I want to go? I have these (spectacular) pictures of my work. But I'm not sure what to do with them to get to the next level." There are many things you could do with great pictures of completed work and as a marketing and business development specialist, I could have just laid out the choices in front of her and asked her to choose.

The problem with that approach is time. 

We only have so much of it in this world and making random choices takes up a lot of time to find results, make adjustments, find some more results, course correct, etc. There is a much faster and more satisfying way.

First, we did the mental work. She already had the question of "how can I participate" foremost on her mind. But she wanted someone else to know and deliver the answer. We took a little time to prepare before we took action. And as we prepared the inside world, the outside world became clear.

Then we took a real-world marketing action, we put those pictures to good use in places where the right people for her chosen path people would find them. Because we did the mental work of getting really clear on "how she wanted to participate" the next several months (and years) were the roller coaster ride of her choosing.

We prepared inside, we prepared outside, we took action and it all came to her. She was published all over the world from that one moment and in multiple magazines and multiple books for years after that and it was all born from that one moment. 

So "how can I participate?" is, in fact, the most important question.

So let me ask you, how will you participate in your path? Let me know. And if you ever need help with it, I'm always here.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

Need Help With This?

If you would like help creating a plan for lasting change, just click the link below and book in a free call with me and together we can determine the best plan.
If you have an interest in learning more about how to learn the AAA Method of Transformation, click below.

Donnalynn Riley |  Copyright ©2020  |  All Rights Reserved
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. 
This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.